How to raise a strong willed child…The moment I realized I was falling into a power struggle with my 3 year old!

The battle of wills man. She is my pistol. My fire. My I’m not backing down for nothing your not gonna win twin. Yes there are two of them and they both are showing the sassy side of their personalities. But this beauty, Reese Isabella,as she hears very often lol from me giving her some direction! She is passionate, she is strong willed, she is stubborn, she is Mama’s personality and Daddy’s temper. My husband and I both look at each other sometimes like what are we gonna do with her ? We are getting drawn into power struggles with our 3 year old! We end up talking to her like she is an adult and quickly remember when her full blow tantrums hit that even though her “sass” factor might be well into her adult years she is still a toddler exploring the world. So as a strong minded, bleeding heart in today’s world this mama, this wife, this mompreneur, wanted to find a healthy balance of letting her be her just “taming” the tude down a bit. Where to begin?!

This is where I begin lol👆🏻 this face what do you do when she makes it. I have laughed, I have made one back, I have scolded. And sometimes all of the above or none of the above have worked. Sometimes I have to walk away and let her safely just blow off steam. I always follow back up and depending on her mood sometimes this amps everything up again. So as I realized that I was getting drawn into a match with my 3 year old that was making me lose my shit I needed to go about this a little differently.

As mamas we love our children unconditionally. But SOME days we don’t have to like our kids or their behavior. It doesn’t make us any less of a parent it doesn’t mean we love them any less. It just means we are human and we have limits we all do my dear. Once you accept this and stop accepting judgment from others you will be free of those fears of failure. Here are some of my goals for raising my little ball of fire. My goal was to find ways to allow her to more independent yet tame the flames at the same time . Here’s what we are working on…

  1. Offering Reese more choices to help her feel like she is in control and has a say on her decisions. She doesn’t always respond well to being told what to do directly so if we offer choices that include what we want done it works out without so much of a fuss. But let’s be realistic she is 3!
  2. Helping her verbalize her emotions with “use your words” instead of the god awful shrieking or having a constant whining tattle tale. Asking her are you mad right now? And sharing my feelings with her so she can learn the context Im using it in. This helps her recognize feeling words. (But the smart little whip won’t be afraid to tell me I’m making her mad lol😉)
  3. Helping her work through frustration or fits by sitting with her instead of walking or running away like I want to some times🤣 😤 but I take a deep breath and try to get her to relax. I hug her sometimes, I let her have a little space instead of invading it, I talk to her in a calmer tone, and try to tell her it will be ok. She is a cuddler when she opens up to it so I try to rub her back, her hair, or hold her hand while trying to talk her through whatever her 3 year old problem is. This usually works better than me ignoring her or walking away. She usually gets more upset but some moments if I am needing a time out myself me walking away will be better than getting frustrated with her. Some days she tells me “don’t look at me” and “get way from me” but I still love her anyways.
  4. At 3 I’m getting huge request for independence from her . She wants “to do it”. So I have been planning more time in my daily routine to give her time to try things like our her own shoes, hat, gloves on it makes her happy. And she is so proud of herself in the end. She makes sure she lets me know she did it herself and I shower her work praise. Why because that builds her self esteem, her self confidence, and makes her feel good. And let’s face it our littles need all the confidence they can soak up in the world we live in today.

So mama if you have a strong willed little one and feel like your losing your mind hang in there. It’s not the end of the world and it can get better. But to starts with you. Take some time to regroup, get enough sleep, eat something, plan some 1:1 time for you and your significant other, and be present for your kids it all levels out in the end. After all time passes so quickly and they are only little for so long ❤️

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